Bending slightly.

Yesterday I received two pizza fliers through the door. Having never thought of the hut I immediately craved pizza and some starter. I wanted to call last night as I was hungry but I held off.

I promised myself for lunch I could have a personal pizza, which is exactly what I did. I drove to a shopping park, ate chicken strips and a personal pizza and half way through the pizza i was feeling full, by three slices I was stuffed. This is the point where I asked the waitress to box the last piece up. Had I been more mindful I would have got them to dispose of the last piece. I am not a dustbin. I am NOT a dustbin.

There is hardly any guilt associated with my lunch just the knowledge that I don't need that starter... or the left over slice.

Feeling a bit off kilter as i haven't got my full week's plan in place.

I have discovered a great site and I encourage anyone who hasn't been there to give it a whirl. It is http://www.sparkpeople.com. It's a tracker's paradise and FREE...

That shrinking feeling

Pulling up my jeans today was a delight. They felt roomier than usual, the zip was under less pressure and there was no tightness at the waist.

I am putting off exercise today until tomorrow, unsure why. I also have to write a food plan which uses up ingredients from my parent's larder, which is harder than it sounds; man cannot live on baked beans alone!

Thunderbolt hunger

I woke up this morning hungry. I also dreamt about eating fish and chips, whereas in previous dreams these past few weeks I have refused junk.

I have to look for a cause- not enough to eat at my evening meal last night. It's quite scary how series of meals in the past effect the present. Until lunch time I shall sit out this strong hunger by distraction.

My folks are away for a while so I'm cat sitting at their house for a few days, but I can't quite get comfortable here and as a result I am on edge.

The Delights of the Dales

Yesterday was the warmest day of the year thus far and i have the red skin to prove it.

My honey and I drove out to the bottom of the dales to take in the sights. Picniced in a charming field only to discover later that there was a delightful bull with big horns wondering about! I stuck to my savoury sandwiches and sushi whilst the lad tucked into lemon meringue pie. He offered me half but I declined, after all i've eaten way too much pie in the past. We took in the atmosphere and the peace of the place at the same time as watching folks swim in a river with their heads bobbing with the ducks. Also walked up and down lanes and sweated an awful lot.

On the way home stopped off at a country pub and drank a chilled glass of diet coke, whilst the honey had a pint of golden hues. Found we were totally deserted around old ruins and got all philosophical about the monks and their life pre-reformation.

Admired the rolling hills and scaled a castle keep, up too many steps and came home exhausted. It was a day well spent. It was great to be awarded two stars for the day.

In for a dip

The weather yesterday was muggy, it rained once or twice too. I decided that it had been a while since I had worked my full body so took myself off for a dip in the pool.

I don't understand other women's reticence to go swimming because once you are in the water no one actually looks at you unless you splash rather too much. I think it's easier for me because I don't have my glasses on and can't even imagine people looking at me. After all I can't control other people's thoughts. What's the worst they can do, think "my God that lady is fat, what is she doing in a bathing suit?". Anyone hestitant to swim because of imagined reactions of others get out there- swim!

I managed 25 lengths before I got bored, despite actually overtaking a few folks.

Today i'm going to do some more art. I have a delicious looking pasta salad with me for lunch and the ripest juiciest peach on the planet. I will look a sight with caper and peach juice dribbled down my chin but I dont care frankly. Tonight I will drink rum, moderately, with my fella and listen to music til dawn. Bliss!

Appetizer fiasco.

Last night was mum's birthday meal. We set off to go out to one pub but when we got there discovered that as it was Monday they weren't serving food. My stomach protested strongly. After a bit of discussion and heated exchange we decided on a pub recommended by a neighbour, but we were a bit scared about the quality of the nosh.

The menu was almost on an a1 sheet of paper there was that much choice. Dad and i settled on the chicken pie and no starters, mum was fixated on the garlic mushrooms as well as a mains. In the end she decided for all of us we'd have the combo platter to share as a starter. Dad and I merely exchanged glances and accepted our fate.

There was so much fried food, albeit tasty. When mains came dad and I didnt have the heart to face the pie bit of the pie and miracle of miracles left food on our plates!


Last night after I'd left my parents was a disaster. The beau couldn't meet me as planned, for which I was disappointed. Then on the way home i pulled out of a side road onto a main road and was verbally abused by a passenger in a speeding black car. After shouting back in my defense, I cried most of the way home. Now would have been the time in the past I would have turned to junk food. I drove to the supermarket with an aching belly and tear stained eyes. I bought a craft magazine, not a thing more.

At home I still felt lousy as hell so I called it a night and went to bed ridiculously early.

Woke feeling more optimistic today. Was delighted that the peaches have now fully rippened and savoured the taste of potato pancakes with egg and spinach. My fridge is groaning with stuff.

Feeling Great

When I got up this morning I made fresh coffee from the coffee filter, sliced fresh lingonberry bread and added slices of bacon. It was simple and that's how I like food to be. I'm feeling wide awake and full of the joys of summer.

Planned my meals for next week last night. It was full of interesting seasonal food stuffs and ingredients I haven't eaten for a while- courgettes, aubergines and spinach etc. I thought the food planning would be a chore but actually it makes the whole thing a damned lot easier; this is something which i'm readily in favour.

A couple of days ago I climbed up THE hill with my beau. The sun was in full force but we got a gusty blow from the wind across the tops. The grass was billowing in huge clumps and it was a delight to show someone else one of my view of the world.

Reflections on Pyjamas

I felt like taking a picture of today's main meals. Don't ask me why, I have my whims.

On one such whim I bought a pair of pyjamas in the sale for next to nothing last week. They are meant to be my size but they are at least one size too small. I'm looking forward to the day i can wear them. The material is the thinnest cotton. They look delicate and fresh. I bet I end up fitting into them in the midst of a horrendous winter. They are currently on a hanger on the outside of my wardrobe, greeting me each time I go into the bedroom and wishing me well when I leave the room. I can almost hear them whisper.

Mud! Glorious Mud!

It may be too early to say it but I do feel that my desire for food is lessening. I weighed myself today I have lost 10lbs since I started weighing myself. I am trying not to sound smug about it. After all it's my body, my mind and a little extra help that has done it. I am just a bystander.

I went for a walk yesterday, no surprise there. I decided to go on the longer trail. This involved walking past the weir into unknown territory. The path way was muddy- very muddy but as i had my walking boots on I sloshed through the mud with glee. It took me back to a wet school trip where we all went on a walk the day after heavy rain in our wellies. There is something great about mud under your feet when you know it wont get into your socks. Lots of people passed in each direction and we commented briefly on the mud before moving on.

On the way back it snowed. It looked like I'd be lost in a field at one point but I continued to walk where I thought the path was and my instincts were right. After passing a very boggy bit I realised that the path actually took me across railway lines. Surely It was wrong? But no there was a style onto the lines and a small sign which read "Stop, look and listen". Useful. It seemed like a metaphor for life. So moving quickly and carefully I crossed the lines. I must point out to people of a worrying constitution that the line was not electrocuted so I could pass in relative safety. It just felt so wrong. When I was a child my parents would joke. Go play on the motorway! Go play on the rail way lines! And here way I achieving it!

I returned home with legs caked in mud, sweaty and pink cheeked. I'm rather enjoying myself....

Reverse Reservoir

Rewind. Today I took my walk in reverse. NO I did not walk backwards I simply took the path in the opposite direction from the pay and display car park, which currently has no payment box on it. I took my camera with me, the posh one, not the usually camera but alas the batteries had run out so I managed two shots before the thing conked out on me. This was really distressing as 1/3 of the journey through the path, there was a tree decorated with plastic eggs and fluffy easter bunnies. Attatched was a card in German, which read in English. Happy Easter everyone love from.... That would have been quite a thing to capture in the woods. Perhaps it will be there tomorrow. But I'm not a patient person as you can tell.

So many dogs were wet on the path, covered in mud. And yes I did brave the mud above. And avoided the thwhip of the angler's lines as they fished.

I am relieved there is less junk food in the house. The scales showed a giant fluctuation upwards this morning. I'm hoping that it's just an abheration. But I am feeling in control today, for how long I don't know. Life is falling into a set routine at the minute. Still ignoring the sale of my house. We'll see what the post brings this week. Do look after yourselves readers and get out walking when you come home with flushed pink cheeks like mine you will be glad you did...

Swim Away the Blues.

I must apologise for yesterday's grumpy mood. I managed to curtail the feeling by eating soup and then going for a swim. I managed to swim 40 lengths of the baths before it was home time. There was a sense of achievement and a smile on my face at the end of the experience. The was just a slight feeling of discomfort when I had to go from the pool to the changing rooms but I'm thinking that if people object to me that's their problem.

A friend emailed me yesterday worried about my feet when I am walking, she reminded me gently that i need support for my ankles whilst hill walking. So today I spent some time looking for my boots which I had long since abandonded somewhere between Manchester and Derbyshire. All to no avail. This does mean that i'm steering clear of muddy tracks and sticking to dry stone pathways. Which actually rules out a large proportion of interesting walks in the area.

I've had a desire to get cookery books out recently and make something from scratch, however, my parents will protest when I cook as I'm so damned messy. Out walking soon.