Scale issues

I have scale issues. Of course you all have scale issues too mostly but I don't mean the usual ones. It started two weeks ago. I got on the scales and there was no constant reading just fluctuations so I couldn't record my weight. This was fine for part of the week but then I just used it as a sneaky excuse to gorge and yes despite all my history I continue down the primrose path without stopping.

Last night I had another of those mini epiphanies where you look at what you are doing and actually feel so bad you decide to do something about it. I had eaten a huge amount of pizza for my evening mean, plus garlic bread and a sugary fizzy. Then I got off the couch in a stupor and went to the shops and went through a pint of ice cream and three mini brioches and another fizzy drink. I didn't even feel full. Instead I just felt self hatred again and was close to tears. Then head shifted and i stopped the loser mentality that always resurfaces and i said I'd do something the next day.

So today here i am. I have eaten well and more importantly I hoofed it down to the gym on the bus as I cant drive my car right now and did a full workout. I was achy and slower than normal but i set a minimum for myself. No night time binges either, blueberries here in case of an emergency. Then I treated myself to 30 mins of yoga as i felt my back realign after a back bend. So i feel good. In 24 hours a change. Tomorrow I'm off to the gym again and keeping up the momentum, to hell with the fact I can't drive there.

This doesn't alter the fact that the scales are still dodgy. So I have gone up a step and I use the gym scales. 50p for a print out. It's concrete then. So I'm shifting my measuring weights to stones and kg for now so I've reset the stats on a new set of scales. The print out has a nice reminder of how much I should weigh (55.3kg to 74.8 kg) so I'm slightly scared. Plus the scale lights up to measure your height and an electronic female voice tells you to stand still. I had this half fear that she would say my weight to the changing room, fortunately not. I felt embarrassed about standing on the scales. It was as if I were standing in the room shouting " I 've got a problem" which obviously everyone else knows as soon as they look at me but I forget until ~I have to admit it.

Thank goodness for days like this when I think straight.