Friday, 7 March 2008
Posted by Violet Cream at precisely 3:49 pm
Shit. I thought I was controlling my food intake I really did.
Yesterday I broke out into quite a sweat on my daily walk. All was rosey.
I spent 4 hours at the hospital this morning with mum and ate late. Had to watch mum down a litre of water with special additives that she did not want to drink.Then later I had the pleasure of working out how much money I don't have to pay my mortgage. I think both these things tipped me over the edge and I raided a selection of Italian chocolate I had bought at a fine deli.
They were carefully shaped into fish, I stripped the foil off quickly and ate with no pleasure. This was eating as a stress reaction. I tipped up the tiny fish and was about to eat the whole lot when I managed to see sense and I popped each fish back in the bag and back in the cupboard. I really have little control and there is no chance to walk today.
I really do wish I had two stomachs. One for normal processes and another, not attatched to my body where I could eat as much as possible and not gain an ounze. It feels as if I actually need so little food to function.