Friday, 29 February 2008

Rain stops play

Posted by Violet Cream at precisely 5:45 pm
It's raining today. Big thick lumps of wetness. A walk was impossible or was it?

Rainy days are perfect for indoor shopping. So I walked round an indoor shopping centre, which included Borders and I purchased a shed load more diet books. If I could lose loads by buying things I would have done. My Canadian friend sent me an online article about the fact that fat people are more likely to hoarde objects than minimalistic slim people. It may be true. I collect books, craft items and scarfs like there will be rationning on them soon. Buying things, eating things makes you feel comfortable for a short while.

I also popped into department store for the "plus" sized woman. I picked up a swimsuit.
"Are you going on holiday, Chick?" the shop assisstant enquired.
"No, " was my reply, "it's for exercise."
"Good for you," she said, " It's more than I'm doing."
So there you have it if it rains I get to go swimming and get wetter. I'm not bothered about being the fattest lump at the pool as I won't wear my glasses in the pool so I can't actually see people staring at me on the way in and out of the pool. Perfect. Let everyone else object to fat woman in a new swimming costume, not that they'll be bothered by me worrying about their own thighs.

3 delightful comment/s:

Jane on 29/2/08 9:37 pm said...

Hi Stella

Hope you are OK today. Weather crap isn't it? Not walking weather at all. We see many walkers when we go on drives at weekends sometimes. They always have the same expression when it's raining. Always have inadequate clothing on and they always grin (or is that "grimace") as if to say "I'm out here enjoying myself (yeh, right) and you are getting fatter and fatter being stuck in that car." It's really quite amusing to watch them. "Get a pint down yer necks!" I feel like shouting..but I don't of course. Too polite!! I read in one of your blogs that you have problems with your thighs rubbing together? I do too..mainly because I'm knock-kneed! It's always worse in hot weather but I cannot wear a skirt without tights. However, those shorts I told you about the other day? Absolutely brilliant to wear them under a skirt as it alleviates the need to wear thick tights. Would shorts help or not? I see you haven't been brave enough to take a full-length pic of yourself yet...which I can well sympathise with as I have no pic at all on my site! I will do a deal with you (and I promise to abide by it); if you put a full pic of yourself on your site I will do the same on mine. I will leave it up to you...and don't give up Stella. Just out of interest how big are your parents? I know your Dad doesn't snack but how about your Mum? Is she usually the main cook in the house? Other people around you can affect what you eat, I have realised this since moving in with John. Miles bigger than when we first met (sigh) and if the roads weren't so full of potholes I'd go out on my bike. I've only been on it once since moving up here in July 05...and that was to Tesco!! Something I've just thought you remember a chap called Vernon Coleman? He was a bit of a guru in his time and was one of the first to go on about detoxing the body. If you clench your fist, look at it for a while, then you realise that this is the size of your stomach!! Well, at least it is its ORIGINAL size. What happens is; your stomach stretches if you overfeed it which is probably why people like us hardly ever feel full. My Mum does and she eats really slowly (another way of losing weight as your body has time to register what is going in it). Did you already know about the stomach thing? When I look at my clenched fist I think "Shit!" LOL

stellaswift on 29/2/08 10:09 pm said...

Thanks for your post Jane. I laughed at your description of the die hard walkers.

I'm not sure if i will put a full sized picture up yet. I'm toying with the idea I'll get back to you on it. Thanks for the encouragement though. I have no plans to give up.

Dad is within normal weight ratios but mum is definately over weight. It's an interesting area what we pass onto our relatives and co habitees. I may blog on this at some later date.

I miss my bike: I'm too heavy for it presently. I wish you'd cycle on my behalf! I can't wait for the time when I will be able to ride down country lanes full of glorious potholes.

Like all fat people, I have a wealth of theoretical knowledge. I know the size of the stomach. But thanks for the eat slower tip- it's one i always forget!

Have you been brave enough to weigh yourself yet?

Silvia said...

Hi Stella.

I've just discovered your blog, and have read about 10 entries so far. I'm usually a lurker - I don't often post online - but reading your blog I just had to say, god you've got courage.

I'm not overweight, but I am a bit pudgy and trying to lose weight. But more importantly, what I've been concentrating on for, well, I guess the past year really, in terms of food, is eating healthy. Eating smaller portions, the healthier options, and trying to think differently about food.
Because, I know that the way I think about food is dangerous, and if I don't change now (when I'm fairly young) I will probably fall into a cycle of putting on far too much weight and hopelessly and trying to lose it, which is no way to be happy.

I like the feeling of that full stomach, being curled up under a blanket in winter reading or just napping - or anything that gives me that full relaxed feeling, like potatoes, and chocolate biscuits and cake, and other things I probably shouldn't start writing adoringly about. And I think, usually, when I eat that much I have overeaten, even if it's good food. And overeating, of course, is not going to help me.

Anyway, I'm trying to change my way of thinking about food, my routine of cooking and what I buy.

And I have to try and get myself to remember how good I feel when I eat a little, enough to be satisfied, and still feel like I'm kind of lean (although I'm not), but, my stomach hasn't stretched. And if I had to go for a brisk walk straight afterwards I wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Because I love feeling that way.

And my parents are hardly good examples. Mostly they brought me up pretty darn well, but although I can cook and know the facts of eating well, I'm not so down on actually doing it.

Try not to think of food as bad, but as occasional food. And say to yourself, I don't want it.
And consider, is it my mouth that's hungry or my actual stomach?
Oh, and those 'occasional foods', the ones that beckon and tempt and you crave - when you start to crave them, and they seem perfect and delicious - stop. Consider the reality of them. Like that pizza the other night that wasn't actually that good? Well, think of that beforehand, before you even buy them, or take them out of the cupboard - what are they actually made of? When you taste those biscuits, can you taste the tiny bits of solid oil? That's hardly appetizing. And are those biscuits made in a factory? A factories always a heavenly delight of hygiene and ingredients made of crystallized sunlight? No. Hell no. What is that biscuit actually composed of, and do you really want to eat it? Can't you taste how dry and oily and frankly, unsatisfying it is?

Basically what I'm saying is, take a couple of minutes to close your eyes and imagine what it would be like to eat whatever it is that you're craving - and imagine it bad, tasteless, bland, never that tantalizing and false dream.

Because seriously, I've come to consider some foods that I have craved often in the past - and think about the ingredients, and what they actually taste like, their texture, how it feels to eat them - and it's not all that. Some of them I now think about and shudder (KFC), and some I think, nah, I don't really want that right now after all.

And in regard to exercise, while the walk seems to be going fantastically for you, think about doing some basic stretches as well (if you don't already).
It's my lazy version of yoga or pilates. Just elongating my muscles and holding. Reaching up to the sky on my tippy toes and holding for 30 seconds. Rounding my back and leaning forward in the kneeling prayer position. Just standing and letting the top half of my body roll down slowly and hang, until gradually my fingers slowly get closer and closer to my toes. Pointing my toe, stepping forward and pointing with the other toe.
Just really simple stretches at any time of the day that just make me feel more alive and awake. It's good for straightening out my back, waking me up, and toning my muscles. Because it does kinda count as exercise - or at least I find helps. It slowly builds the muscles and muscle formation burns food and fat.

And early on I was going to say read the Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl (which sits on my shelf and I will not give away), but then I got to the bit where you said you'd just finished reading Shauna Reid's book, so .. yeah. She's brilliant, isn't she?

And one last thing, if you're not really hungry, but it's a meal time or you've been holding off from eating for a while that day, and you know that if you eat you'll eat the wrong foods, far too much of them, and not really enjoy them, then I sort of have a solution (which I have used before). Exercise makes you hungry yes? Do a little bit of exercise and you'll have a bit more of an appetite and you won't feel guilty about eating. And I always enjoy food more when I'm properly hungry.

So good luck and hang in there. I know what it's like to stick to a long term goal with little results in the short term and makes you want to cry in frustration. I really admire you for sticking at it.


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